chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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