I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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