I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
