im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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