are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So much rum. So many feels.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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