So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
