you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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