Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
