we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
