Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
