i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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