I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
