I'm really into asian looking animals
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
