You really coming over, don't trick.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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