She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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