but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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