I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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