Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
