No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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