Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
