Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
