Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
