Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
