i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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