living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
