Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
