Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
