Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
