The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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