does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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