So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
