she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
