i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
