what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
