I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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