He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
