Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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