I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
