Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
