Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
handjob tips. give me some.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
