I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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