I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want nice things and good sex
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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