living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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