Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
