a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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