Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
