guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
