South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
