Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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