you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
