I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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